Dark Fantasies: empowering and healing?

I recently read a post on a forum where someone shared about having dark fantasies and how can that be right? They, in their life, are all about love and light and empowerment and these fantasies seemed to be the opposite. Here is my response:

Dear Person, acting on those dark fantasies, in a consensual manner, can be an amazing way to access your love and power in entirely different ways. And I mean that whether your fantasies are about being the one giving or receiving. Exploring them, with some preparation and negotiation ahead of time, can be an amazing practice in the skill and grace of choosing your life. In the dance of "yes, I will recieve this" and "no, I will not do this," you hone your skill in using your own power.

Acting on dark fantasies can be a place where you are held while you struggle in ways we normally aren't allowed to. It can be a place where you get to be fierce and make the other person struggle. It can be a place where you can express your primal side with teeth and claws. It can be a place where you face your fears and release their controll over you.

But!!!

It takes some talking things through with whomever you might choose to do this with (yes, even your own imagination). Because you need to agree ahead of time on what specifically will not be happening, what will be said to stop if things feel wrong, how things will go afterwards to process the experience. 

You need to do some structure first: limits and boundaries and intention and planning for processing afterwards. That way the space for this sort of darkness is healthy and possibly healing.

There is a lot to learn as you begin to explore your fantasies. If you want a native guide in this process, contact me to schedule a 20 minute consultation to discuss working together.